1.The X-files only sorta could happen. The Matrix definitely
2. X-Files: Paranoia. Matrix: EXTREME paranoia.
3. Matrix characters don't need no stieenkin' badge to get through security.
4. Neo and Trinity versus Mulder and Scully. Which sounds cooler?
5. Suits vs.. black leather and long coats.
6. Scully never connects. Trinity never misses.
7. There's no smoking in the Matrix.
8. Keanu Reeves looks hot in a bathtub of red Jell-O. David Duchovny just looks red
and wet and sticky. (Aleta!)
9. FBI agents don't get kewl sunglasses.
10. Scully doesn't get the hang time Trinity does.
11. Can you see Scully saying "Dodge this." and blowing CSM away? Neither could I.
12. There's no UST (unresolved sexual tension) in Matrix- it got resolved fifteen
minutes from the end.
13. Mulder has to be brought back to life by a whole bunch of people. Neo only needs
14. There's no Diana Fowley in the Matrix.
15. UFOs v.s. computer plug ins.
16. The Matrixians get spiffier cell phones.
17. Neo and Trinity can both hold on to their guns.
18. Scully and Mulder wouldn't blow out the side of a building to save Skinner.
19. The Matrix will always be there on video. The X- files is going off the air.
20. Would you rather have the female lead naked in a bunch of goop or the male lead
naked in a bunch of goop?
21. Deep Throat v.s. the Oracle. Kill 'em with chocolate chip cookies.
22. FBI agents only get one gun @ a time.
23.Scummy tall smoking guy who's going bald or scummy small smoking guy who
already IS bald.
24. Tank, Dozer, and Mouse, or Frohike, Byers and Langly?
25. Would you rather chase aliens or be grown by them?
26. Are they really FBI agents? Or are they just (gasp) AGENTS? *run away screaming*
27. Does anyone in the X-files ever say "What's really going to bake your noodle
later on." ?
28. There aren't any evil old octogenarias in The Matrix.
29. FBI agents have two expressions-grim and grimmer. Matrixians have at least
four-confused, very confused, serious, and get the *beep* out of my way.
30. Skinner couldn't fly a hovercraft.
31. Skinner's still hoping his hair will grow back. Morpheus flaunts his baldness.
32. Leather trenchcoats v.s. tweed trenchcoats.
33. FBI agents can't dodge bullets.
34. The Cigarette Smoking Man doesn't get a little curly-wire earpiece.
35. The Matrix has a better soundtrack!!!
36. Neo's hair looks good fluffy. Mulder's just looks, well... FLUFFY.
37. Short red hair or short black hair?
38. Mulder would gripe that the computer hook-in itched. Does anyone else?
39. Nobody has Mulder's porno habit in the Matrix.
40. Would you rather be an alien gestating ground or a human Duracell battery?
41. Do you think Scully could fly the helicopter?
42. Mulder and Scully STILL haven't kissed.
43. Now be honest, Cher or Rammstein?
44. Nobody wears those awful striped ties in the Matrix.
45. There are no exsanguinated anythings in the Matrix.
46. If David Duchovny was in a band, it would have a stupid name like "Hi Mom Look
47. No, wait... David Duchovny isn't talented enough to be in a band.
48. Dogstar is a rockin' band!
49. Bree Sharp v.s. Dogstar.... hey, wait... that's not fair.... I love 'em both...
50. There was no brain-to brain surgery in the Matrix.
51. THERE'S NO SLUTTY FOWLEY IN THE MATRIX! (did I say that already?)
52. Neo and Trinity make a cuter couple than Mulder and Scully.
53. Plus, they could kick their butts.
54. The Matix is to the Bible story what The X-Files is to the Star Wars story.... wait,
that's a point for TXF. Fooey!
55. FBI agents have to go through paperwork to get guns... lots of guns.
56. In the Matrix you can be your own personal SWAT team.
57. There's no Jar-Jar in the Matrix. (whoopsie, wrong list- and I like Jar-Jar!)
58. There are no buck-toothed-hick-town-sherriff-vampires in the Matrix.
59. There aren't any liver-eating mutants in the Matrix.
60. Everything tastes like chicken in the real world.
61. We've got Tastee Wheat!
62. The 'inside bad guy' in the X-Files doesn't have a goatee.
63. The 'inside bad guy' Does Krychek or Cypher sound cooler?
64. Tall dark and handsome but scummy or short, cynical and balding but scummy?
65. The cell phones in the Matrix kick butt! The cell phones n the X-Files are just that-
66. Has anyone on the X-Files ever called anyone else 'Mr. Wizard?'
67. Scully and Mulder didn't meet for the first time in a club somewhere.
68. The X-Files doesn't film in Sydney.
69. The costumer gets to have SO much more fun with the Matrixians wardrobe.
70. Mouse or a pair of psychotic cloned twin-lings?
71. Mouse is cute in an obsessive hacker-ish way.
72. Mouse has the same hat Keanu Reeves wears. You never see anyone form the X-files
wearing the same thing in real life.
73. Orobouri or computer chips? .... wait, that's another hard one... fooey!
74. Scully and Mulder never work together to get rid of the bad guys. They're always off
doing their own things.
75. Neo would never leave Trinity alone with the bad guys.
76. Trinity would never leave Neo alone with the bad guys (on purpose)
77. Morpheus wouldn't send anyone off on a wild goose chase.
78. Trinity has never told Morpheus that his head was part of his ass. (X-Philes-Triangle?)
79. The special effects on the Matrix are SO much more not obvious.
80. *I* could have done half of the effects on the X-files.
81. How many FBI agents can come back from the dead? (NORMAL FBI agents-not
the Millennium Group dudes.)
82. Mulder and CSM have never gotten into a no-holds-barred fight in a subway tunnel.
83. Somehow, 'my...name...is...mulder..." doesn't have quite the same ring.
84. Neither does 'my...name...is...scully"
85. CSM doesn't have the strength to hold Mulder down on the subway tracks.
86. Scully doesn't have on motion that's always repeated (trinity's 'hand on the phone
87. Nobody says 'oh god' or 'oh my god' repetedly in the Matrix.
88. Nobody just randomly runs by and steals anyone's cell phones in the X-Files.
89. Mulder and Scully's one real kiss didn't really mean anything.
90. Trinity and Neo's *first* real kiss brought Neo back to life.
91. Anyone can be an FBI agent. It takes real talent and questioning to be a Matrixian.
92. In the Matrix, you cn say 'S***" and not have it blocked out by half of the opening
credits music. (Bad Blood)